First, I have to say that I don’t send my children to government schools (aka public schools), so you may think this shouldn’t matter to me. But it does. It does matter. It matters because it is just another example of the crap you get when you put the government in charge of some program – any program.
“And what,” you ask, “is the crap to which you refer now?”
Doughnuts. Doughnuts for breakfast.
Today’s mail brought a full-color, magazine-type mailer from our local government school district that talked about all the recent goings on, new things for this year, and reasons for which the administrators should all break their arms patting themselves on the back.
One of these reasons is their “universal breakfast program” which is being expanded, on a trial basis, to the high school. Apparently they’ve been feeding their elementary and middle school students free garbage since the 2008-09 school year. The district’s Director of Dining Services said, “We know that a nutritious breakfast increases our students’ ability to learn.”
Why then, I ask, does your “cold breakfast” include the option of doughnuts? In what universe is that considered nutritious?
Specifically, the article in the mailer says a cold breakfast includes: milk, two breads, or one bread and one protein, along with fresh fruit or 100% fruit juice. It further explains that a serving of cereal or a donut is equal to one bread, a bagel equals two breads, string cheese or yogurt is equal to one protein, a breakfast sandwich is one bread and one protein, and the ever-nutritious peanut butter and jelly wafer (what is that, even?) equals one bread and one protein.
And how many sugars? Hmmmmm? How many sugars does each one of those things equal? I’ll tell you: a boatload.
So, assuming kids go for the cold breakfast (I won’t bore you with the details of the hot breakfast option, but it couldn’t be more processed and carb laden were it made with the Mr. Wizard Science Kit: AP Version, rolled in a mountain of white flour, and deep fried in a vat of MSG) . . . so assuming kids go for the cold breakfast option, what do you suppose they are going to get? My bet is on: milk, two doughnuts and the required juice or fruit, which will wind up in the trash.
The fruit/juice will wind up in the trash because by the time they’ve downed the milk and doughnuts (we all know milk goes much better with doughnuts than juice) their blood sugar levels will have spiked to the point that the idea of fruit/juice makes them want to hurl.
And then? You’ll have a lot of grumpy second period teachers. Because? That is when everyone’s blood sugar will crash and all those students stuffed full of their United States Department of Agriculture subsidized doughnuts will go to sleep.
And people wonder why I don’t want the government in charge of my health care. They can’t even figure out what “nutritious” means.
Although, I suppose, they are guaranteeing themselves a crapload of future patients.
