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Archive for May 13th, 2008

The Golden Ticket

Posted by Nancy on May 13, 2008

It came in the mail yesterday. Not to my house, but to Doug’s house.

What is the Golden Ticket, you ask? 

If you are LDS, divorced, and wanting to re-marry in the temple, you know.  It is the letter from the First Presidency giving you permission to do so.

Doug’s first marriage ended in divorce after 14 years, when his ex switched teams and decided she liked women better.  There had been problems in the marriage almost from the beginning, and this revelation went a long way toward explaining what had been going on psychologically and emotionally.  They had tried counseling, but in retrospect he realizes she only wanted him to go so he could learn to accept the new her and help teach the kids to think it was wonderful.

As Doug said at the time of his divorce, at least he doesn’t have to spend time wondering what he could have done to save his marriage.  Nothing.  Nothing he could have done would have mattered; she was totally embracing her new lifestyle.

Still, it left four upset and appalled kids in its wake who were assigned to split their time evenly between their parents.  That is why I have been spending several days a week at his house for the past three years, being a surrogate mom on the weekdays he has the kids.  Then they’re often all down here on the weekends he has them. 

I have appreciated the time to draw closer to the kids, and the opportunity to discuss gospel principles with them.  I cannot say it has not been problematic at times though, especially in the winter when the roads are bad – I always go up on Tuesday evenings, and have to leave after township meetings that sometimes last till late in the evening.  There have been some pretty grim drives.

But he is now planning on marrying again, to a wonderful woman from out west who comes from a large family and loves children.  They chose the date a while ago, but the temple wouldn’t schedule a sealing room until they had the permission to marry in hand. 

Now they have the Golden Ticket.

Lolly called the St. George temple when they opened this morning at 6:00 a.m., and the wedding is officially scheduled for 8:40 a.m. on June 14.  Hooray!

I took H~ shopping Saturday and found a very feminine white dress to wear that day, but still need to take S~ and Z~ dress shopping.  We also need to buy shoes and jewelry, and decide how they want to wear their hair.  I mentioned to Doug that maybe he could take them out looking, but he said raither plaintively, “I’m just a Dad!” 

Does he get a pass?  Hmm.  I want them to look nice, so I guess he can stay home and the girls and I will have fun.  At his expense.  And he gets to take I~ out and find a new suit and white shirt.

This next month is going to be wonderful, preparing for a wedding, school ending, Drew and Kelli coming back, life swirling around with new chapters opening.  This has already been such a busy year, with a birth, an adoption, and a move already accomplished.

I am so happy for Doug and Lolly, and for the kids.  Oh, and let’s not forget the possibility of new grandchildren in the future!


Posted in Family, Mormon life, Wedding | 1 Comment »