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A New Way Of Seeing The World

Posted by Nancy on January 6, 2010

We have been raised on misogyny.  We all “know” that women are at a disadvantage because of mysogynistic men who hate and oppress women, and the societal bias that has created.

I would like to introduce you to an article about misandry.  I’ll wait while you check the definition, as we haven’t heard much about it. 

I just read the most thought-provoking, insightful article I have read in years; one that deserves a wide audience.  It puts to words thoughts that may not be politically correct, but which explain many things about the current state of our country.

Why does it seem that American society is in decline, that fairness and decorum are receding, that socialism and tyranny are becoming malignant despite the majority of the public being averse to such philosophies, yet the true root cause seems elusive?  What if everything from unsustainable health care  and social security costs, to stagnant home prices and wage stagnation, to crumbling infrastructure and metastasizing socialism, to the utter decimation of major US cities like Detroit, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh, could all be traced to a common origin that is extremely pervasive yet is all but absent from the national dialog, indeed from the dialog of the entire Western world?  [snip]

The Western World has quietly become a civilization that undervalues men and overvalues women, where the state forcibly transfers resources from men to women creating various perverse incentives for otherwise good women to conduct great evil against men and children, and where male nature is vilified but female nature is celebrated.  This is unfair to both genders, and is a recipe for a rapid civilizational decline and displacement, the costs of which will ultimately be borne by a subsequent generation of innocent women, rather than men, as soon as 2020. 

The Misandry Bubble at The Futurist is very long and contains many links to references that illuminate the point of the well developed thesis.  I recommend reading it in its entirety, then going back and reading it again.  Don’t neglect the links.

I have lived long enough to witness some of the changes wrought, and remember how it used to be.  Those times are now ridiculed, yet what has been lost?


Posted in American life, Economy, Family, feminism | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

More Mormon Musings

Posted by Nancy on July 10, 2008

Who would have thought that getting away for a few days would mean Bud and I would talk about – religion?

First, you have to understand that if there is one topic he never wants to talk about, it is religion.  And while he is not exactly anti-Mormon, he is sort of anti-organized-religion in general.  His philosophy is that religion is fine for those who “need” it, but he is not one of them.

So it came as a complete surprise when he became the latest person to put in his two cents worth on the Sunday activity musings that have been going on.  Oh, we talked about it a bit before, but not like this.  This time he has been telling me his opinion of what the gospel is all about, what its strengths are, and how that relates to raising children to be strong in the gospel and strong as a family.  This is what he wants for us, and he said it.

This is the most meaningful conversation we have had about religion in a long time, and the first time he has really opened up and shed some light on what he thinks about the Church’s teachings.

I have known he is proud of how our children have turned out, and gives their religious training a lot of credit for that.  I have known he likes to “pass” as a Mormon when we go to church historical sites rather than ‘fess up and let them be extra nice to him as a missionary effort.  I know he admires the Church and its members, – but, it’s just not. for. him.

So, his view on our last Sunday’s activities is that the whole day was premised on a spiritual occasion – the blessing of a baby – and the family would not have been together had this not happened.  It was not planned as a family reunion, but as a spiritual event that brought the family together.  To him that distinction is of primary importance.  Had we planned an outing to a public swimming park or paid money it would have been an entirely different situation.

It became a reunion because it was the first time we had all been together in a very long time, and we were celebrating the addition of a new baby.

Bud’s feelings are that the main focus of the Church seems to be on strong family relationships, and the activites of that day helped to accomplish that purpose.  In his mind nothing should have been done differently – no activity was inappropriate under these specific circumstances.  We talked about gathering children into the family, not driving them away with restrictive rules that add nothing to their religious experience.  Nothing drives him away faster than someone being overly zealous.

I respect that.  I respect that he has spent the week pondering on this, as I have.  I respect that he wants his family to live up to the teachings of the Church and have close family ties, even if he STILL is not ready to join the church himself.  I respect his right not to join the Church – if/when he does he will not be lukewarm but will be valiant in his membership because he will have chosen it when he is ready.

It is such progress from where we started when I joined the Church and he wouldn’t even come to my baptism.  It has been accomplished through patience on both our parts, through his support for my raising the kids in the Church, and my tenacity in hanging in there and demanding time for callings and activities that I knew to be important.  Our children worked to develop testimonies and incorporate them into themselves, and now use them to set examples for him.  Credit also goes to all the wonderful people at church who fulfilled their callings and helped the process along.

This whole period of introspection and scripture study occurred because of a statement that some people choose not to swim on the Sabbath because Satan has dominion over the waters, making swimming an inappropriate activity.  I have to admit I had never heard that before.  A poll of my children showed that they had, either on missions or at BYU.  The interesting part is that no one can find any scripture or prophet stating this.

Research by several of us shows it appears to be based on D&C 61, although Satan is not mentioned in it.  Further study on that section shows it was written about a storm on the Missouri River, and the Doctrine and Covenants study guide, authorized by the Church, has no reference to Satan when discussing this section.  Elaine took a D&C class given by the book’s author while at BYU, and he said nothing about Satan and water when teaching this section.  Some students brought it up, but the professor did not.

So, again we are back where we began.  If all recreational activities are forbidden on the Sabbath, swimming is included.  If any recreational activities are permitted, swimming is on the table along with everything else.

As Katie said earlier today, in the 11th Article of Faith we say we believe all men should be free to worship according to the dictates of their conscience.  Then we judge each other in the church.

Good luck in developing what will keep your family close to the Church.  Some things are requirements, but for others I suspect circumstances must be weighed and all families are different.  It is the love of Christ that is unchangeable.

Thus saith the Gospel According to Bud and Nancy.

Posted in Family, Mormon life | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Camping, But Not Primitive Style

Posted by Nancy on July 10, 2008

“The new girl’s cabin they built at the place where we’re going camping in two weeks only has ONE ELECTRIC OUTLET in it!!!! We’ll all have to share ONE OUTLET!!!”

I was in the Young Women’s organization for something like a million years, as president three times in two wards, and as counselor in two wards and the stake.  I went to camp with the girls a number of times. We didn’t have electric outlets. We didn’t have mess halls.  We didn’t have beds. Heck, we didn’t have cabins.

We had T-E-N-T-S.  And sleeping bags on the ground.  We cooked ALL our meals over CAMPFIRES.  We tied a scarf around our hair and didn’t worry about what we looked like, since that is what everyone had to do.  And we had a blast.

I think something is getting lost in the translation here, that the church youth camping experiences all seem to involve cabins and prepared food.  I hope they at least still take hikes and have testimony meetings around campfires in the evening (I’m sure they do).

S~ and I made her ward’s flag for camp today.  I asked how it would be displayed – carried on a pole or what – and she explained it would hang outside their cabin.  The cabin with only one electrical outlet.  And OH MY GOSH, how are we all going to do our hair with only ONE OUTLET?

The flag is a red and white pennant (a flag with a V notched out at the bottom) with black lettering.  It looks good and she seems happy with it.  It took several hours to make the flag and applique the letters in place, but I got a big hug for it at the end, which made it worth all the time.

I spent even more time working outside at Doug’s today, while also either developing my tan or cultivating a burn, I’m not sure which yet.  He bought a house that is surrounded with bushes as foundation plantings, and they have all been let get overgrown.  Since they just moved in I took pity on them and took my trusty hedge clippers and lopping shears with me, and spent about four hours whacking at them (the bushes, not the people).  S~ helped quite a bit too. 

It looks a lot better, except that the detritus from my hacking is still lying in the yard – all over the yard.  I only had so much energy and I figured those able bodied kids could clean up the mess tomorrow; it’s going to take quite a few lawn sized trash bags to get it all.

Another long day – I got home at midnight.  Tomorrow Bud and I leave for Amish country, where he managed to find a hotel room while searching online today.  Oh happy day, we do get to spend some time in one of my favorite parts of the state.

Finally, I would like to thank those who have left comments about appropriate Sabbath_Activities.  I appreciate your input and welcome more from anyone who has an opinion.

Posted in Family, Gardening | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Happy Anniversary To Us

Posted by Nancy on July 8, 2008

It’s amazing how quickly forty-one years can glide by when you are enjoying life together.  Oh, there were rought spots and tight times, but all in all it has been an enjoyable four decades plus one year.

Wow, that sounds like a long time. 

I feel like the same person I was those many years ago, just with a body that shows the wear and tear.  How can you explain to a young person that who you are, the true essence of yourself, doesn’t change.  We age physically, and we mature intellectually and emotionally, but we still are who we are. 

It’s no wonder the concept of body and spirit is universal throughout all cultures – a body that is only a receptacle for who we really are.  The concept may be refined differently through various religions, but it is there in some form.  It is a true concept, and we know it intuitively.

Bud and I celebrated by having lunch together since I had a township meeting this evening and wouldn’t be around for supper.  It was nice to spend time together, and we decided it was just as good as going out for dinner.  Maybe better, at lunch menu prices.

I ran home in mid-afternoon to meet with my visiting teachers, those angels from my congregation who check up on me monthly to make sure I am okay.  It was a welcome disruption in the middle of typing up the agenda for tonight’s meeting.  The agenda was so short I was sure we would be out of there within 20 minutes. 

Wrong again. 

It always depends on how many citizens show up with complaints and what issues get bloviated to death. 

The meeting lasted two and a half hours.

We bought a new brush truck for the fire department; we talked about trees on road right-of-way; but first we spent over an hour on citizen complaints.  I have many follow-up phone calls to make this week to try and find answers to the problems.

Tomorrow I am going to Doug’s to help S~ with her flag for girls camp.  I hope we can do a good job and she will be happy with it.

Posted in Family, Mormon life, Township | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

The Survey Says…

Posted by Nancy on July 6, 2008

The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, a short story by Mark Twain, had nothing on the Radiator Springs bullfrogs today.  Sean figured out how to catch them this evening and the kids had frog races to see which would get back to the pond first.

They are big, and they are fast.  The kids were screaming encouragement, and I think it was “Trevor” that won.  They had named the frogs, of course. 

The frog races were one of the last activities of our very busy, very satisfying day.

We started at 5:30 a.m. to get to the LDS church near Radiator Springs by 10:00 for the baby’s blessing.  Our extended family increased the attendance there by about 50%, and they were happy to have a pianist for Relief Society and more children for their Primary.  They are a strong branch with good members, but 23 additional people makes an impact on a small congregation.

Elaine is in the Primary presidency, so had to deal with the fallout from our being there.  That included W~ walking in, taking one look at her, and saying, “Why do you have to be here?”   From the mouths of babes…  Wonder if he had some mischief planned, or if he was just curious, or maybe felt sorry for her?

After church some of us went berry picking over by the creek and found two cherry trees with sweet yellow cherries, two varieties of mulberries, and several large thickets of black raspberries.  We ate as we picked and still managed to fill two containers with fruit.   While we were foraging others cooked dinner on the grill and got out the side dishes that had been brought; I made a blueberry buckle for dessert and we all ate till we were stuffed.

The cousins enjoyed playing together and had fun jumping on the trampoline, playing pool (as in, on a pool table), swimming in the pond, running foot races around the pond, riding bikes in the driveway, and “helping” Uncle Sean catch frogs.  Sean is excellent with little kids and had some of them croaking at the top of their lungs on the premise that it was attracting the frogs to them.  Too cute.

Most of the adults and some of the kids played games of Bananagrams and Apples to Apples, while a few lucky people managed to get naps.  Katie and Elaine captured highlights of the day on their cameras, and we all had plenty of time to just sit and relax together and talk. 

Such are the rewards that come after many years of raising children.  If you’re lucky they turn out to be people you enjoy spending time with; if you’re very lucky you may even become friends.

The weather was perfect, the whole family was together for the first time since Christams (well, all except H~ who is out of town), and it was a Norman Rockwell sort of day.  We all agreed we should do it again soon and set a date for the first weekend in August.  By the time Bud and I go home it was 11:00  p.m.

Now for the survey, and I really would appreciate thoughtful responses.  Especially from those who are familiar with the LDS faith, but not from anyone who was there today.

Which, if any, of the above activities break the Sabbath, and why?

Posted in Family, Mormon life | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

Running A Tight Ship

Posted by Nancy on July 4, 2008


Organization is not my stongest suit.  It may not even be in my deck.

I received phone calls from three of my four children yesterday, asking what the plans are for Saturday and Sunday and what food they should bring on those days. 

I’m used to those calls, but they usually happen when we are having dinner at my house.  That is not happening this weekend, but I guess I’m still the point person for organizing.

That’s what happens when you give birth to more than one child.

Saturday is at Doug’s, with members of the Elders Quorum arriving at 7:30 to help them move into their new house.  Bud and I will be there to help (probably a little late), as will Matt and Elaine.  Drew is at his in-laws’ lake house for a couple days, and Katie and Sean are a maybe. 

Doug has so much faith in all his helpers that he has invited the family to a pool party at his soon-to-be-abandoned apartment  in the afternoon, with hot dogs on the grill for supper.  Maybe it will happen, since a lot has already been moved.

Sunday is at Elaine’s house, with church starting at 10:00 and the baby being blessed.  It will take us almost three hours to get to her branch, so it will be an early morning.  The entire family is showing up for this event (all 24 of us), and there is a pond party and cookout scheduled afterward. 

I am taking appropriate clothes and shoes to go out in the wild and pick berries, then help A~ make some jam.  I’m also taking my sewing machine to help S~ with a flag she needs to make for Girls Camp later this month. 

After calls all around, I think we have the food parcelled out for both days and have some idea of what is going on.  Mayhem.  Bedlam.  Lots of work, lots of fun, lots of faith, lots of family.

Just in case we don’t have enough to do for the weekend, Bud and I spent last evening at Lowe’s and bought a ceiling fan and light for the kitchen, to replace the light that lost its desire to shine forth last week.  I still hit that light switch every time I go into the kitchen, even though there are other lights, and it still hasn’t changed its mind and decided to start working again. 

While we have the ladder in the house to replace the light, we might as well repaint the kitchen ceiling, so we bought paint too.  Maybe we will get the bathroom ceiling done at the same time.  Maybe today will be a very busy day.

I’m scrubbing ceilings today and Bud is putting the light in, then going over to Katie’s to fix her dryer.  Then we paint.  I love to paint.

Busy weekend.  The best kind.  I had better get moving.

Posted in Family, Mormon life, Moving | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Some Things Never Change

Posted by Nancy on July 3, 2008

Once a foraging herbivore, always a foraging herbivore.

Drew came yesterday to pick up furniture with Pig-Van.  I was at the office when he arrived, but came home soon after and fixed supper for us (shrimp jambalaya – yum!).  I had a special treat for him, too.

When Drew lived at home he loved my vegetable garden.  Don’t get me wrong – he didn’t like to work in it or anything like that.  He just loved to eat out of it.  Him, and God, and nature, and vegetables.  No washing, no refrigerator, just straight from the garden.  He was there often and would just graze through it.

This is the kid who, as a baby just learning to talk, would plead with me in grocery stores to PLEASE buy him turnips, broccoli, beans, peas – you get the idea.  Women used to stare in awe and ask me how I did that.  The secret answer?  I didn’t; he came like that.

I had picked some fresh sugar snap peas earlier and put them in a plastic bag so he could eat them raw with supper.  Sort of a throwback to earlier days, don’t you know, and the only thing ready for harvesting this early in the season since my lettuce and spinach seeds all washed away.  I was surprised when he greeted them with a shy grin instead of open appreciation.

“Um, when I got here I went to the garden and ate all the peas before I even opened the door,” he said. 

“Not the little ones, just the ripe ones,” he added defensively

I should have known. 

Posted in Family, Gardening | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Pig-Van Earns His Keep

Posted by Nancy on July 2, 2008

What to do with a cargo van at the current gas prices is a quandary.  Keep it and go broke feeding it, or sell it in a market where no one wants a gas hog.

Pig-Van has been dependable during its short duration with Drew.  It even earned about $500 in parts to fix some of its problems – like bad king pins that caused steering irregularities (a nice way of saying it wandered all over the road if you weren’t careful) and a leak in the gas line that apparently sprayed gas onto the carburetor all the way across the country during a recent move.

While Drew dithers about whether to keep the beast, Doug is moving into his new house.  Yesterday the van showed its value and earned a little more time at Drew’s house.

I took S~ home from her trip to Florida with Katie and Sean.  While there I spent a couple hours with Lolly, Drew and Kelli, packing boxes full of things to move; after I left they kept packing and crammed that van full and drove it to the new house.  They got a lot moved.

Today Drew is bringing the van here to pick up some furniture we aren’t using – a waterbed, a dresser, a library table, etc.  It may even all fit in one load.  Again, the trusty old van will earn its keep.

I can’t get the following clips to embec, so I’m posting the links. The first one is for Kelli, who is half owner of Pig-Van and is studying sign language.


This one is for Doug, because it so perfectly fits his sense of humor. (And may you have better luck moving into your new home.)


Drew is looking more kindly at his van now, which was purchased for not a lot of money.  He’s having trouble getting over his accountant’s view of the bottom line, but a few more days like this and he might actually start showing it some respect.

Maybe he will even give it a nicer nickname.

Posted in Family, Moving | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

A Complete Family

Posted by Nancy on June 29, 2008

It takes a lot of courage determination confidence to marry a man with four children, with the intention of not only being a wife but also of making a difference in said children’s lives.

I am so impressed with my new daughter-in-law.  Lolly is asking about their strengths and weaknesses, speculating on causes of past problems, expressing her concern for their well-being, and planning strategies for helping them in the future.  I cannot say God-send enough times to describe her.

As we sat at Drew’s house celebrating his birthday I could only think that Doug has a complete family for the first time.  It was wonderful to watch them, to see the considerate interaction between them which was missing in his previous marriage.

I can only say, God does answer prayers.

Posted in Family | 2 Comments »

How Big Was That Baby?*

Posted by Nancy on June 27, 2008

Happy Birthday, Drew. Can it really be 25 years since you were born, so big you filled the hospital bassinet at birth? Seems like just yesterday.

Now you’re married with a baby of your own, starting your first real job as an accountant. Wow. Time flies when you’re having fun.

Here’s to your future, with wishes that your life is as full and rewarding as mine has been (so far – I’m not giving up yet).

* The answer is, ten pounds, eleven ounces. He remembers. I definitely remember.

With no segue, on to today’s litany of events.

I spent this afternoon working on Tim’s computer at the township office. It has been running like a dog and he took the day off, so figured I could waste some time defragging it, running virus scans, wiping out temporary internet files, etc. Those are the things you do to make yourself think you are accomplishing something, when in reality none of it helps.

A stop by my favorite ice cream shop lifted my mood.  I was on the way to check on four complaints of businesses being run out of residences with the outsides looking trashy, and the ice cream siren song was just too loud to ignore.  Black cherry in a waffle cone.

When I got back to the office I checked how much RAM that problem computer has, and, well, 512M just won’t cut it anymore. Probably should have checked that in the first place.  It’s not that old, and it worked fine when we first got it, but downloads and updates must have put a little too much into its memory banks.   Bud came up and helped me crack it open to find out what it needs; I’ll upgrade it Monday.

Matt called to ask about berries he found on trees along the creek while taking a nature walk with the kids. Hmmm.  Do I dare make a decision without seeing them?  Am I endangering my grandchildren’s lives if I make the wrong call?

I diagnosed them to be mulberries and told him they were edible, so they all tried them. Gee, I hope I was right (just kidding).  The black berries he found on thorny bushes nearby must be black raspberries, based on the fact there are ripe black raspberries in my back yard and blackberries come in later in the season.

Even A~, who doesn’t like fruit, was trying the berries, which is a good thing.

It just doesn’t get any better than black raspberries.  I hope she appreciated them.  Mulberries, well, there’s a reason why you hear about the monkey and the weasel and not so much about mulberry pies.  Although, try out this website which proves me a liar: 

I ended the day striking out the second time trying to fill yesterday’s prescription from the doctor.  She decided my four years of gastric pain has been caused by h. pylori bacteria, but instead of writing prescriptions for the separate antibiotics used to treat it she wrote for some package deal.  This is not looking promising. 

You know h. pylori, the one that causes ulcers.  The generic antibiotics required to treat it are just amoxicillin and clarithromycin, and you take them with Prevacid in this case.  The individual antibiotics are dirt cheap, but my guess is the package deal won’t be.

Here’s to modern medicine, which cures you but doesn’t make it easy.

Posted in Family, Township | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »